Materialism

I know the tariffs are coming, but Cyber Monday is still bullshit. Don't buy in.

I just finished reading a book called The Psychology of Money and gained a lot of self-respect in the process. It turns out that what you do (or don’t do) with the money you have in the long run is far more important than how much you make in the short run. Even the richest of kings can lose everything if they lack self-control, and a pawn can become a queen if she saves and invests early and often—always keeping her eye on the prize when the going gets tough.

This is all comforting to someone who has been unemployed for almost a year.

I won’t link to the aforementioned book on Amazon—that would be hypocritical based on my Black Friday rant. (Plus, I didn’t buy it but checked it out from my library app, Hoopla, which is something I will endorse because I want you to read. If you didn’t, there would be no point in my writing any of this.)

Speaking of Amazon, I should acknowledge that today is Cyber(fuck) Monday, which I hope you refuse to celebrate unless you’re trying to get ahead of Trump’s incoming tariffs on electronics. My computer works just fine, as does my three-year-old phone, so fuck Cyber Monday—I’m good. I’ll leave it to others to buy useless shit for the sake of a “deal.” Why do we fall for the same shit every time?

A few years ago, it came out that 40 percent of Americans lack $400 to spend in case of an emergency. This figure has since been disputed, but, nevertheless, whenever I hear that I live in the “richest country in the world,” I think of that statistic. For my part, there has never been a time since childhood when I did not have the presence of mind to save at least $1,000 for a rainy day. I was able to do this even while living abroad as a master’s student—unable to (legally) work—and while traveling as much as possible for the sheer thrill of it. I do not say this to brag: You don’t need to be a financial forecaster to know that things tend to suck a whole lot less if you’re prepared for the worst. (I can’t imagine how I would feel if I hadn’t prepared for the possibility of a second Trump presidency by researching where my wife and I might escape to.)

Instead of the Power of Now, we should talk about the power of “enough”—which does not mean dismissing all pleasure but rejecting manufactured needs. I say: Fuck keeping up with the Jonses. We simply do not need many of the things we buy. Fuck status: Weren’t we taught as children that we shouldn’t care what others think about us? I, for one, don’t give a fuck about your fancy clothes, car, or jewelry—especially if you’re otherwise dull and lifeless. In fact, if you rely on expensive packaging, you’re signaling that what’s underneath might not be up to par. Conversely, those who have substance can get by with a modest, Bohemian aesthetic. (I’ve been laid enough times to know this is true.)

Of course, in order to buy more shit, most of us rely on credit. I recall bloodsucking telemarketers trying to sell me credit cards back in college. At first, I was just angry that they called my landline so early in the morning (in college, 11 a.m. was considered “early”)—but then, like a good student, I did some research. I quickly realized I didn’t need a goddam credit card and that the purpose of trying to sell me one was to fuck me over—so that Visa and Mastercard could reap the profits. I’m so happy I denied them the opportunity by living well within my means.

We’re a long away from the time when credit cards were intended for wealthy people. Now, living beyond your means in America is not only possible but expected. It doesn’t matter if you can’t afford Christmas presents, the pressure to buy them—and take on debt—is real.

I hope this rant has helped to alleviate some of that pressure. If not, send me some of your hard-earned dollars, and I’ll do better next time.